Tuesday, February 26, 2008

DARK LITTLE CLOUDS

So its official, anti depressant drugs do not work. Having suffered from depression all I can say is that exercise & distraction away from the thoughts that engulf you seem to work best for me. Recognising the triggers & behaviours although not always easy, goes a long way towards getting help before that dark downward spiral takes a hold. I have changed my diet, behaviour, routines everything I can in an attempt to keep the " Dark little clouds" away.
I have used 2 kinds of anti depressant drugs, the first one flattened my moods to such an extent that I felt like I was covered in plaster, where sounds, sights & smells were so subdued they felt second hand. I took 1 course of these & did not repeat the script.
The next time the " Dark little clouds " came I was prescribed a different drug that would allow me to have a greater width of highs & lows. This too only lasted 1 course. I just can't function with the drugs inside me. Its a paradox, I need highs & lows, but its these things that trigger the mood swings.
I know one thing though, armed with the knowledge I now have & the experience of just how far down to the edge of the abyss depression can take you, I am going to do everything in my power never to go there again.

Listening to:

British Sea Power
Yellow Jackets
John Coltrane
Les Savvy Fav

3 comments:

Yorkshire Pudding said...

May I advise five pints of Tetley's ale in quick succession followed by a doner kebab - far more effective than any Prozac. Actually I shouldn't jest. There were times in my early twenties when I felt so desperately low. When I could get to sleep it was the sweetest relief - to escape from the depression which was like treacle clinging to me. Thank God those days appear to be long gone... but you never know.

Will said...

Very deep stuff. I'd love to have you contribute on my blog. If you ever get the time, let me know.

http://wanderlustway.blogspot.com/

Catherine said...

Wow, Yorkshire Pudding's post reminded me of living in Guisborough, England.

Found your blog via BlogExplosion. I completely understand what you've been through. Depression is a cancer I've been fighting for quite a while.

Nice to meet you in the journey. I wish you the very best! *hugs*