Depression.... No one wants to talk about it.
It is the "Haunter of your dreams ".
Well here I am in the middle of an episode... "who is out there who knows how I feel?"
No one..... It is down to me and me alone to sort this out. There are some out there praying that this will be the end of me...more fool you. I know that this will pass & I will be the stronger for it. In the past I never even knew that I suffered this affliction, yet now I know what it is. Many people will come up to you & say they know how you "feel" They have no idea how it feels to have the weight of all your past life on your shoulders & know it amounts to.....Nothing.
The only person who I can relate to right now is a fellow sufferer, I feel so worthless, so unimportant.
My self esteem has dropped through the floor, I know that this is a passing mood, eventually I will crawl from the floor up to the status of someone able to sit at the table. It is a hard encounter to assess your life & realise it amounts to nothing. What will I leave behind for my children? Other than a few Cd's, 20 years worth of diary's & photographs ?
Suddenly the whole weight of your existence falls in your lap & you realise it is lacking.
Karl heinz Stockhausen
The mobile phone twitch